Seasonal depression has often made its presence known in my life. As the days darken, my own thoughts tend to take on a heavier tone too. Over the years, I have learned to bask in the subtle blessings of winter: to honour the energy of contraction, of turning inward, of withdrawal and reflection. On the day of the winter solstice, I always feel happy, knowing that a turning point has been reached and the days will soon begin to lighten.
🌙 The Deepest Night 🌙
I am grief in motion.
You run from me: I am not comfortable, cosy, fun.
I am challenge, I am change, I am the hours before your dawn.
I am the still-beating heart of your resilience.
I am the deepest night.
This message – and the painting accompanying it – came forward as I reflected on what this year’s winter solstice meant to me (I live in the northern hemisphere, where we’ve just been through our deepest night – I know that people in the southern hemisphere have just experienced the other side of the coin). 🌝🌞
Over the last few days, I’ve seen a lot of healers, lightworkers and spiritual teachers talking about how the winter solstice was an amazing, uplifting experience for them: how they received huge downloads and blessings and light codes that filled their hearts with joy … but blessings can come in the form of challenges too. 💗
I experienced the winter solstice as a “dark night of the soul” experience, bringing deep fears to the surface. It was a time of tears and flared tempers: a time when I saw a lot of my own BS brought to the surface, and was challenged to work through that and integrate its lessons into my being. I know that the solstice was tough for many other people as well. 🌕
I find hope in one of the lines above: “I am the still-beating heart of your resilience.” 💓
As the festive season nears its zenith, I will find time to connect with that sense of hope, and honour the gifts that 2019 has brought my way.
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